Monday, August 30, 2010

AND SO IT IS..............

On a personal note... as some of you know, Mark and I have been trying to have a baby for sometime. We started getting that itch at the beginning of last year. We actually did get pregnant pretty quickly. We were so excited! I started feeling a lot of the symptoms, the cravings, the exhaustion, the funny little pains in my tummy, my sense of smell was out of control! I even started feeling like a mom, if that makes any sense? Its something unexplainable, the bond that can grow in such a short time. I don't know if it was because we were older and so ready or that I had wanted to be a mother so badly, but I did get a strange sense that I wasn't ever alone. And as quickly as that feeling came... that feeling one day, disappeared. Last July I, like many women, miscarried. It was a very tough, emotional and humbling experience to go through. Unfortunately this time around it has not been as easy. Maybe there is a lesson that I have not learned yet. Humbling myself?... something I work on each day. Struggles of life?.... having to go through hard times to know the good?... I am grateful for those experiences. Sympathy for others?....I have compassion for others differently than I did before. Not coveting what others have?... Ok, Ok... this one is a tough one. I am so, so happy for my friends and family that have children (I love my nieces and nephews), I guess I can work on the coveting part though. The only thing I can think of is.... Patients. Ugh. That whole "not on our time" speech. I have never been one to wait patiently for something. I guess this is just one lesson I am still working on LEARNING. So as for now... I am putting IT out into the universe. I want children! (A girl preferably) Ha ha just kidding anything would be nice! I need to start a family soon so that I don't end up with a dog farm! So universe, I am trying this whole "law of attraction" thing.. if I say it, it will be. And so it is.




Speaking of dog farm, Flossy needed a friend soooo..........

4 comments:

Happy in Harpsterville said...

I love this post! So real, so raw, so amazing. I pray for you and your-soon-to-be family often and I know it will happen.

The Field's said...

Haha. A dog farm is okay. A baby farm would be better. I'm sending my positive preggo energy to you...Cami I feel deep inside it WILL happen! IT WILL!!!

Jeff, Chelsea & Rustin said...

This is the way to do it Cami! You are awesome! Soon you will be an amazing little mommy! I feel your pain and frustration. I will pray for you and Mark! Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

It has been way too long since I have stopped by to see what is happening in your world and to say HELLO!! My heart breaks for your loss and you have such amazing strength that I admire so much! I can't wait for you to be a mommy and look forward to you being able to experience one of the greatest things in the world! :-)
Positive thoughts, prayers and hugs your way!